The Break Up.

By Ashlee Rose - November 23, 2023

16 months ago my relationship ended.

A relationship that spurred on and off for 15 years, with someone whom I adored dearly and will always adore immensely.

When I decided to end the relationship it came to a surprise to many. I had a number of people respond to our break-up news with, “I thought you had a good thing going on”.

And it’s true, we did have a good thing.

We didn’t fight.
We were in allowance of one another.
We had each other’s backs.
We allowed each other to live our own lives, and supported each other with whatever we chose.
We were grateful for each other.
We honoured each other.
We never judged.

But, the one thing I longed for in our relationship - that I only found words for after we broke up - was to be received.

I attended a relationship class 12 months ago and during class one of the participants asked the facilitator, “how do you know when a relationship is over?”.

He responded, “you know you’re done when you’ve reached the end of their receiving”.

Holy smokes.. My head almost exploded hearing that one sentence.

It explained why my relationship didn’t work: My ex and I didn’t receive each other.

I haven’t spoken much about the break-up online, or much publicly about the relationships since, because I had decided I was wrong.

“Who am I to speak about relationship, or invite people to something different in relationship, when I’m not even in one?”.

“What do people think of me now I’m single?”

“Will people even listen to what I have to say?”.

If you attended my UnF*ck Yourself Program or relationship classes (even some free calls), you were invited into the awareness, change and transformation that’s occurred for me in the last 12 months. And if you haven’t been on any of my calls, it may have seemed like I had disappeared slightly - because I had.

I was judging myself for not being in relationship, and had unconsciously decided I “wasn’t allowed” to talk about relationship now I wasn’t in one. All the while I was dismissing the entire encyclopaedia’s worth of awareness and information I’d gained access to since the break-up.

Awareness and information that could change realities if I was willing to speak about it. However, instead of focusing on what I had gained access to, and what I could facilitate and invite people to now, I focused on what I decided I needed to have, or where I decided I needed to be, in order to call myself a “relationship coach”.

I almost convinced myself not to speak about relationships publicly until I was in another..

Talk about insane.

I remember speaking to a friend 6 months ago and asking her “how can I talk about all of this stuff if I’m not in relationship”. Her response, “Your choice has inspired me and invited me to so much more of me. Most people don’t have the courage that I’ve seen you choose”.

You see, I didn’t leave my ex because something was “wrong”, which is the basis for most people choosing something different in relationship.

I left because I knew there was more available for both my ex and I than what we were capable of gifting each other.

I wanted that for me.
And I wanted that for him; even if he wasn’t cognitive of it.

The choice was one of the hardest, most intense, courageous decisions I’d ever made.

My mind told me I was crazy, and every other part of me told me, “this will create greater for both of you”.

It was intense. And the unknown, of what laid ahead for both of us, rocked me to the core some days.

But in those moments I submitted.

I submitted to being nourished and taken care of by the infinite Universe.
I submitted to not having to know or having the answers of what was next.
I submitted to the lightness.
I submitted to being the leader.
I submitted to knowing that it can only ever get greater.

And it has.. more than what my mind could ever fathom or imagine.

I don’t have the answers, nor know where what I’m experiencing will end up - we never really can. But what I do know is that if we use lightness as our compass to navigate this strange world, more of you follows & blossoms.

More of your beauty. More of your reality. More peace. More ease. More joy. More possibilities.

So many people feel trapped in the area of relationship.

Trapped by their mind.
Trapped by making the wrong choice.
Trapped by fear.
Trapped by trying to ‘get it right’.

And guess what.. even as a relationship coach I don’t even have it right. Not even close.

In fact, there’s no such thing as “right”, and frankly, it’s a destination you will never arrive at no matter how hard you try.

So my friend, if you feel trapped in the area of relationship, what if the greatest gift you can give yourself is “willingness”.

The willingness for it to be messy.
The willingness to make the “wrong” choices in other people’s eyes.
The willingness to receive the more you’ve always craved.
The willingness to look at that which is uncomfortable for you.
The willingness to allow intensity engulf your world.
The willingness to not have to be seen as having it all together.
The willingness to be vulnerable.
The willingness to submit into knowing it can only get greater.

Because it can, and always will.

Let lightness be your compass.
Joy to be your lighthouse.
And your courage your ship.
DESIRE MORE?
My signature 12 week relationship program begins in 1 week - November 30th.

More information here.

A program to set you free of doubt, despair, dissatisfaction & wrongness in the area of relationship and empower you with the information and tools you should have been given from day 1.

Is now the time for all of the relationships in your life to change and become greater, with ease?


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